How To Feel Proud of Yourself

Most of us shy away from being overly confident or proud of ourselves. We are very quick to bash ourselves, and most find it difficult to even express that they've done a good job. There's a few simple steps you can take to start feeling prouder of yourself, giving you good self worth and making your mind a little kinder (we can all do with being a little kinder). So here are my steps, on how to feel proud of yourself...

This can be any little or big thing that's been achieved for the day. Whether it's sending an email you've been putting off, calling to book an appointment somewhere (one of the worst parts of being an adult), or something as big as getting a promotion. Write it down and celebrate you. 

A good place to keep these accomplishments is your diary, this way if you're having a bad week, you can look over the past 7 days and see what you've achieved.

Did somebody speak to you wrong and you dealt with it great? Or maybe you tripped up and brushed it off. Overcoming little things is part of life, and the more you do this and celebrate your success the more you can feel proud of your journey. Soon the smaller things won't bother you so much, and you can start celebrating the bigger stuff. 

Don't ever forget about the little stuff though, that's what got you to where you are.

Stop overthinking what will go wrong, and start thinking about whether this is a task you're actually able to overcome. If you are, then start putting steps in place to get through the struggle and actually overcome it. If it isn't something you are possibly able to overcome or help, then accept that and move on. 

Don't dwell on something you can't change.

When your best friend is having a tough time, what do you do? Well, I'll tell you what you don't do - you sure as hell don't tell them all the bad things about them, or tell them that how their feelings are irrelevant. No, no you don't do you? You tell them all the good things about them, and why you love them. Do this to yourself! Stop beating yourself up and celebrate yourself. 

Don't kick somebody when they are down - including yourself.

Stay positive,

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5 Things To Do When You Realise You Have a Mental Health Disorder

1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year. When people find themselves struggling, we often shy away from talking about it, which gives the problem lots of encouragement to deepen. Everyone's mental health journey is different, and I wanted to tell you mine in the hope of helping somebody.

What did I do when I discovered I had an anxiety disorder?

Well, my journey wasn't simple (not that I can imagine many people's are). I suffered with blackouts from the age of around 10. I went back and forth to the doctors; NHS and privately. They couldn't find what was wrong. Eventually, when I was about 17 I had a final appointment with a neurologist who told me "it's just the way you're growing". Thinking this was strange at the time, but what are you to do when a specialist tells you everything's fine?

Looking back now, the signs were obvious. But to be honest, you didn't really hear of things like anxiety and panic attacks going back over 10 years ago. It wasn't talked about, even more so than now. I remember telling my mum I had a bad tummy in the mornings before school, being confused by what I was feeling. I know now what I actually meant, and that was that I had constant butterflies in my stomach, constantly nervous. 

Over time, I became more outspoken, more confident and more outgoing. Starting a part-time job in retail definitely brought me out of my shell. Eventually I moved on to University, all by myself. I loved being in University, I loved socialising, meeting new people and living away from home.

Every now and then I'd get really bad patches where I'd be really upset or really nervous about something. This was usually brought on by something that was happening, so didn't think anything more of it, but I was finding it more and more difficult to handle. University is where I had my first panic attack - mid bloody lecture. That was fun! Things didn't move much further along until I was out of Uni.

I got to my early twenties and I knew something was actually wrong, and I wasn't just having lots of 'off' days. I always thought I was just a sensitive person (which I know I am) and that I just over-react. It wasn't until about two years ago, where it got crippling. I'd have stints where nothing would happen, and I'd be almost paralysed in my room, sobbing uncontrollably. I wouldn't be able to breath, to move, or speak. These would pass and eventually I'd calm down, but more and more I'd experience high intensity panic attacks.

As my anxiety had built up to such a point, I knew I needed to speak out and get help, but we all know it isn't that easy, or simple. In May 2015, I had scheduled a routine doctors appointment to discuss some pain I was having which turned out to be RSI. At the end of my appointment, my Doctor asked the magic words, "is there anything else?" - I burst out crying and he immediately got up, got me some tissue, lent in calmly and told me "everything is going to be okay".

This was the beginning of me getting help. The right choice for me was to try anti-depressants, starting off on a small dosage and eventually having this increased. These aren't magic pills, and there's definitely extra work you have to do if you really want to improve your mental health. I'm still working on the additional bits, and I still have days where I don't feel very well. I'm a workin' progress!

I've put together some things I would recommend if you're struggling.

1. Admitting 

Admitting you have a problem is a really big step. If you keep hiding it away, you may not even realise how big the problem is, or how it is affecting your life. Lots of physical symptoms come from Mental Health disorders, so it's important to know what's going on. Admitting to yourself that you have a problem, and that's okay. What isn't okay is suffering in silence with zero help.

2. Talking

You'd be very surprised as to how many people around you are actually suffering, too (remember 1 in 4!). Wouldn't it be great for us all to be able to talk about this? Your honesty may encourage somebody else to come forward with something they are struggling with. 

3. Getting professional help

This takes a lot of courage, but once you've done it you'll feel a whole lot better. People are there to help you. Just remember that. You aren't a burden. You need to do this for yourself, when you're ready.

4. Getting a buddy

Tell somebody close to you exactly what's going on. Somebody you can trust. If you feel you don't have this person in your life, there are other remedies. Check out this link for different options.

5. Saying bye to the unsupportive
Lots of people are in your life for the sake of it, they are takers. If somebody makes you feel worse about yourself, remove them from your life. They aren't worth your mental health. You're choosing to be around these people, so at least ensure they have a positive impact on your life.

Medication has really helped give me strength to do the extra bits to help keep my mind ticking over. This can be anything you enjoy, which for me is writing. Exercising is really good for boosting your self worth as well as giving you some happy hormones! I do know however, that medication doesn't work for all. With mental health, there's definitely not a "one size fits all" solution and I really encourage you to speak to your Doctor. It takes a lot of courage, but one thing I can tell you is I walked out of that Doctor's Surgery 10 stone lighter.

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The Ultimate Holiday Guide: Ibiza Edit

As you probably know from my ramblings on Twitter, I'm heading to the sunny isle of Ibiza in the summer and I am so excited. I'm going for 5 nights and staying in a beautiful villa just outside of Playa D'en Bossa.

This'll be my third time on the beautiful island, and it's honestly like no other place on earth. If this is your first time - you'll make memories which will last you a lifetime. If you're heading back, then you'll know what I mean!

Here's some hints and tips to get the most out of your time there;

Plan

There is so much going on, you better at least look at a schedule before you go. Head over to Ibiza Spotlight where they have a full schedule for the summer for all of the big clubs and events. Trust me, it's worth it. This way you can have an idea of what you want to do when you get there. Otherwise, Club Promoters will eat you for breakfast. 

Money

Get a cash passport - you won't have to carry cash around with you, and it isn't connected to your bank account. Also, if your card is lost or stolen, they get a new one sent to where you're staying. I would also recommend taking some cash with you though, so you don't need to keep going to the cash machine.

Admission

Walk across the beach in the day time - it'll get you cheaper entry! Lots of the main clubs have parades around San Antonio to attract club goers for the evening. They hand out flyers with discounts. There's also a long, long line of Club Promoters along the beach front waiting with wristbands and drinks vouchers for particular bars/clubs.

Hint: do not act like it is your first time. They will see you coming a mile off, and put you on a "packed" bar crawl which will be empty. Seriously, it's Ibiza, nobody does bar crawls. Go to a certified shop and buy your tickets there. They have nothing to gain from selling you tickets, they'll speak the truth! There's a record shop on the strip called Solo Records which is reliable.

Transport

There are buses that run to and from the clubs (well, close). You can pick up a schedule from the shops and it show the best buses for each of the clubs. This will save you a fortune. Plus, the buses have a great atmosphere on the way! There'll probably be police around when you're waiting at the station, don't worry, they're there to keep you safe. The bus station is at the very top of the West End. If you keep walking up the hill, you should get to it.

Bags

Definitely take a bag that you won't have to carry. Between the amount of people at the venues, getting to the bar, holding your drinks, taking pictures, dancing - you won't want to be holding a clutch. Invest in a bumbag (super safe also) or a backpack. If you do decide on a backpack, ensure you get one that has a hidden zip. I have a lovely one from Missguided that has a zip on the back of the bag that goes against your back. This way if somebody fancies digging through my bag, I know my essentials are safe.

Wardrobe

Think really dressed up but as if you're hitting the beach. This is Ibiza, you'll see the extremes of both sides here, so mostly anything goes, but if you want to go with the flow a casual spin on a very glitsy outfit doesn't go a miss.

Footwear

Do not take heels! Honestly, don't bother. There's like 1% who decide to do this, and you see them in visible agony. Ibiza is non-stop and you don't want to have to leave at 1am (clubs open at 12am) because your feet hurt. Especially at 50 euro a pop.

Last but not least...

Little Gem

If you're giving the big clubs a miss for the evening but still fancy some atmosphere and good music, head to Hush on the West End. It's an amazing hidden gem and gets really busy in the nights. It's open until 5am and often has up and coming DJs playing. 

Kisstory
Events change year on year, but there's always some that stick around. Kisstory was by far one of the best nights I went to. It has an amazing atmosphere, everyone's loving the old school tunes and you know every word to every song. This night is also a bit more mainstream, which is perfect for people who are not that in to the deep house side of Ibiza. 

Have an amazing time & stay safe!

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What Would a Twenty-Something Year Old Do?

Being twenty-something comes with immense pressures. This year I'll be turning 25, and the impending doom that if I applied for The X Factor (not that I ever could, I'd trump the chicken man) I'd be on the Over's category honestly makes me want to sob into one of my many, many blankets. The last year or so, my taste has gone from buying that little black dress, to buying as many knitted things I can get my hands on (don't get me wrong, I'd never turn down a little black dress).

Nothing comforts me more than sitting in my Super-King, with new PJs, a sitcom I've been binge watching on Netflix for a day or two and some fluffy socks. I can't be the only one who now shudders at the thought of standing awkwardly in a nightclub, complaining that everyone looks about 16 (seriously, when did they start letting children into clubs?).

It's funny how a year or so of aging can actually age you.

I now indulge in colouring, many baths (although this has always been a favourite of mine), lighting candles, buying bedding and most importantly not consuming alcohol. I really dislike the lack of control, and the amount of money you spend to not remember an evening of your life. I don't actually like the taste of alcohol, so I drink only on nights out, which kind of makes the whole thing a little pointless. 

I don't crave the weekend antics much anymore. Don't get me wrong, every now and then I'll have the urge to go and have a dance, but the last few times this has happened I've ended up in a 24 hour steakhouse, complaining about the weather and my feet; which means my friends are also lacking the urge of the slippery, sticky nightclub floor.

I don't have any regrets of my adolescent years; there's some things I'd probably change if I knew then what I know now, but I know I was young and you live and you learn. Like most of us there's definitely some stuff I'd love to have told my 18 year old self...

1. Live

Seriously, go - party, have fun. Life is stressful when you're 18, right? It only gets worse. And worse. Oh, yeah - and worse. The older you get the more stressful life is, so cherish the freedom you have when you have it. Don't worry - it's not all doom and gloom, you'll have some of the best moments of your life when you're older, but deciding to go to a nightclub at 11pm won't be an option when you have work at 8:30 the next morning (or maybe you will, in that case you're braver than me).

2. Save

I'm in my mid-twenties and have only recently actually started saving any money. The sudden realisation that I may hit 30 with no home to call my own came crashing down some time last year, and all I thought was how much money I could've saved by now, even if it was a small amount every month. I'm not saying don't splash out every now and then, but when you get a nice amount of money for a birthday or a holiday, put it away. Future you will thank past you, as future you needs to splash out, too.

If you're as bad at saving, like I am, invest in a 'Pot of Dreams'. You can't access the money
in it without smashing the pot. If you only fill it with £2 coins, it'll get you £1000 when it's filled!

3. Love 

Well... I'm not telling you to go stand on the street corner, but live your life. If the guy across the bar tickles your fancy, what's stopping you? As long as you're safe and comfortable, follow your urge! They'll probably be the moments you and your friends can giggle over when you're approaching 40 sipping on some cocktails. Your first love will always carry a special bond. But your first love isn't the be all and end all of your love life. 

4. Appreciate The Golden Oldies

When life is busy, it's easy to forget that the clock is forever ticking. People are not going to be around forever, and appreciating the time you have with them is really important. Plus, they always pass on some pretty handy wisdom. Some of my best memories are spent with my grandparents, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

5. Be Selfish

I definitely don't mean be like Regina George, but what I do mean is you need to look out for yourself. Most of the time, the people you think who've got your back, are the ones who put a knife there. Friends, family and partners - you'll be surprised who actually cares, and who's just along for the ride. You don't need these people in your life. If someone makes you feel less about yourself when you're with them, remember this golden rule - you're choosing to be there. Take control of your life. Get rid of the wrong un's. If you're choosing to hang around with somebody, choose somebody who enriches your life, who uplifts you; not somebody who tares you down and makes you feel less of yourself.

So that's it folks - what would be your words of wisdom?

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What's The Nicest Thing Somebody Has Ever Said To You?

With the fascination and constant updating of Social Media, we're never too far away from a share of a questionable post, Facebook's top bragger or someone with one of those hard to look away posts. Social Media has allowed us to see everyones highs and not so many lows. Everyone gets to paint a perfect picture, which means that when we're actually faced with a low - we feel very alone. 

With all of this in mind, the daily struggles each of us face personally and the fact that it is estimated that one in four people in the UK will experience a mental health problem each year, while one in six experience a neurotic disorder such as anxiety or depression - it's inevitable that the problem is only going to get bigger. Life is more stressful than ever before, and the internet has given some of the causes a silver platter. 

With the recent articles that have hit the media about the lies behind being "Instagram Famous" I think it's time to spread as much positivity, whenever and wherever we can. It would be nice for our generation to be remembered for embracing peoples flaws and differences instead of bashing and shaming them for it. I do believe that we're getting there - slowly.  

Every now and then I come across a Facebook page, a Tumblr blog, a Twitter feed or an Instagram account that is uplifting in a world where most things are falsified and down right saddening. The key thing that these pages have in common is that it shows real life, real problems, real people - or something I can have a little giggle at! I keep these as my little treasures and when I'm feeling like Sadness from Inside Out, I take my iPhone and just scroll. I find it therapeutic to read some really meaningful shit. Shit that I read and smile with my eyes. Some make me cry, some make me smile. I gain perspective, and all in all, I know I feel a little calmer afterwards.

So let's be human.

Whats the nicest thing somebody has ever said to you?

For me, it was when I was having a bad time with my anxiety. I was sat crying in the car with my friend and she started telling me all these positive things about me. Me? No, that doesn't sound like me. I'm not that person you're describing. Why are we so harsh on ourselves? Why are we always the first to put ourselves down? Someone once told me, "you know it is okay to be your top supporter". But so many of us chose to immediately bash ourselves, and then wonder why our self-esteem is so low. 

She turned to me and said that what she loved most about me was how other people behaved when they were around me. That their demeanor seemed to change and I shed some sort of "light" on others. This honestly touched me like nothing else. For me, this was such a thoughtful, non-throw away comment. When I'm having any of my lows, I try to think of these little positives that others have passed my way. Our minds are our worst enemies at times, so this helps me get out of my funk (along with hot coco and my Winnie The Pooh hot water bottle).

Having been in a very negative relationship previously, I find it hard to forget the things that were said. We're very quick to believe the nasty things people say about us, but too many times has someone said something nice and instead of making me smile it gives me heaps of anxiety and tension. "Why are they saying that? They don't really mean it. They're just filling the silence. Do they actually mean the opposite?" - We need to learn to accept compliments!

I still remember this comment vividly, and I don't think she will ever understand just quite how much it touched me.

Lets share the kind words people have said to you and lets spread some positivity

Here are some of my favourite places to visit when I need to dwell, uplift, or just need to get a bit lost in some scrolling;

Instagram;
@PositiveVibesQuotes
@ThinkGrowProsper
@BuddhaDoodles

@BuddhaDoodles

Tumblr; 

tuesdayalissiaslogan

idisagreewithmymind

onlinecounsellingcollege

inkskinned
-hope-for-the-hopeless-

tuesdayalissialogan

Twitter;
@MurrayNewlands
@SincerelyTumblr
@Pretty52

Facebook;
BuzzFeed Life 
HuffPost Good News
The Debrief

The Debrief

One of my all time favourites was an Instagram account: @drunk_on_positivitea. Sadly, the girl behind the name has stopped posting due to being too busy with life. Here's hoping she'll find the time to come back and spread the love. 

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My Black Friday Bargains

So, it's been like one year since the manic Black Friday sales hit the UK. For me, Black Friday was always the Friday just before Christmas where everyone would go to their local pub and get absolutely smashed/trollied/plastered. Having questioned this with a few people, it doesn't seem that this was a thing for everybody! I sure as hell didn't ever participate, and only once did I ever brave a Christmas Eve trip to the pub, although got demanded home by 11pm as my mother would have murdered me if I'd have been hungover on Christmas Day. And no matter how old I am, she still thinks I should be sleeping by midnight on the dot ready for 'Santa' to arrive.

We seem to have taken on the American tradition of Black Friday, sometime in November, the Friday after 'Thanksgiving'. I mean, this is a bit bizarre that we've taken this on - we don't celebrate Thanksgiving, so why the need to take on this 'holiday'? What ever the reason, it seems to have made people and retailers a little loopy. This year included, albeit much more controlled than the absolute havoc that was raised last year. 

I didn't plan in getting involved in Black Friday. I think it's a little bit of a farse, and you can definitely get better deals throughout the year, but they smack on a catchy looking slogan and banner and it seems to do the trick. Well, I kinda, sorta, definitely didn't stick to my "not getting involved" in Black Friday promise. 

I was browsing Missguided as I usually do - popping things in my basket then sadly clicking the 'x' at the top right hand corner. However, on this occasion, I spotted 20% off everything banner (the glitsy ones as mentioned previously), which I thought was pretty good. So I put an order through for two dresses and two tops. I felt I did well. The two dresses were for work, one top also for work, and one going out top;

Then, after I'd checked out - I saw they were having flash sales. Like, literally one every three hours. I had to have a look, because the previous ones were really juicy! I waited eagerly for the flash sale to start and to my delight it was 50% off jackets. Now, it wasn't as if I needed anymore jackets, but with 50% off I definitely could've fitted a few more in my closet. Also, with my new work attire I just ordered (excluding the drop hole bodysuit, that would be an interesting day at the office) I could've used some knitwear to top it off. Here's what I ordered;

Okay - I didn't stop there. I'm surprised Randy from Chase-Visa hasn't been calling me. 

The final installment of my Missguided ravage was their 50% off tops. I was subtle this time. With the other two orders, the "Free UK Next Day Delivery over £60" got me absolutely hook-line-sinker. However, for my third order, I stopped myself, and just paid the £3.00 delivery cost. I mean is it just me, or when I see those sorts of offers do I think that it works out cheaper to spend the £60 rather than the £20 I wanted to originally, just because I get free delivery? Like what sort of logic is that? Marketing genius is what it is. Anywho - here's what else I got;

In all fairness, I got one of my packages the next day as promised, and the other two came a day late, but I was even surprised at that because I can't imagine the amount of orders that must have been put through!

My favourite buy was definitely the Grey Bomber Jacket. It is SO comfy and makes me feel a little bit like the Michelin Man. 

Did you manage to nab any Black Friday/Cyber Monday - whateverthehell you want to call it - bargains? 

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